Healthy Imposter

can't stand feeling fragile
though it doesn't happen often
but sometimes silence surrounds
and suggests that I'm alone

anxious thoughts lead to consumption
consumption leads to numbness
inactivity leads to lethargy
lethargy leads to pounds

structure helps with control
control helps reduce binging
if based purely on when I am hungry
constant chewing or heartburn for waiting

by the time I'm full it's too late
I've already eaten too much
feeling stuffed makes me feel guilty
guilt leads to feelings of weakness

just because the fluctuation
is only ten pounds or so
doesn't mean that it's okay
to think this much about food

I'm learning to notice the triggers
and trying to avoid exposure
but it really is a daily struggle
and I know I'm not alone