LOVE: Let Others Voluntarily Evolve (2023 Review)
I have always been passionate about health and wellness and gravitate towards wanting to help others. Over a decade ago I started learning about the stages of change and the fact that you can't make other people change. After getting divorced (how has it already been 10 years?!), I flipped to the extreme of radical acceptance and unconditional love because I understood that people have to make the choice to make changes in their lives.
But it is so hard to watch people make choices that I know are hurting them. I wrote something that hasn't made it into a full poem yet: “Even though I think I do, I don't know what's best for you.” Susanne Joie says “LOVE: Let Others Voluntarily Evolve” and this is something I am trying so hard to do. When I catch myself wishing someone would make a different choice, I try to ask myself is there some way I am self-sabotaging? Is there something I can do in this moment that is healthy or nourishing? I recognize that others are our mirrors and that I may continue to find myself in certain situations for my own evolution and growth.
I'm finishing up a college student wellbeing, trauma, & resilience professional certification. It has been pretty good, but a lot of it I have already learned because of my passion for wellness and healing from trauma. There was a Ted talk that talked about a good way to check in with yourself in any given moment. “Is what I'm doing (the way I'm thinking or acting) helping or harming me?”
I'm trying so hard to listen to my body and set loving, healthy boundaries. If someone asks me to do something and my immediate bodily response is to tense up and sigh, that is my body telling me this is not something I want to do. I've gotten better in some areas and other areas I still struggle. It can even come down to the limited amount of energy I have. Doing “something” on a day I'm fully rested and don't have plans might actually be a nourishing choice, but other days it can feel depleting.
CACTUS VS. ROSE FRIENDS
I read an article this year about “cactus” friends and “rose” friends and had a realization about myself. I'm one of those people who values deep soul connection friendships, but I don't require much upkeep to still feel a strong connection. I'm a cactus! I can go years without talking to or seeing friends and feel like no time has passed when we reconnect. I don't need weekly or monthly contact to feel close.
SELF-CARE
Early in the year I started a virtual meditation group but that only lasted through winter and then I put it on pause. This year I started doing acroyoga again! I went through a period of time where I got back into lifting weights weekly but have since fell off again. I STILL haven't picked back up a regular yoga practice, but I know it's going to come back.
MOUNTAINS
I guess 2023 was a mountain year. I went to Chattanooga, TN and Prescott, AZ for TrustedHousesitters gigs, and hiked a mountain overlooking Lake Superior on the Keweenaw Peninsula of Michigan’s UP. I hiked more than I ever have this year and pushed myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to elevation gain and altitude. I'm not ready for any 10,000 foot hikes, but it feels good knowing I'm capable of more than I realized.
This doesn’t feel complete like my typical year-end review. Probably because it isn’t and it took me a year to post it as a blog, but I want to put it out there anyway.
